The Cyber Onion

The Cyber Onion

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  • Apple Declares War on Fraud, Leaves Actual Hackers Chuckling

    May 28, 2025
    Uncategorized

    In a stunning revelation, Apple pat themselves on the back this week for heroically stopping over $9 billion in fraudulent transactions over the past five years. That’s right, folks. The tech giant has gone full-on superhero mode by confronting the alarming escalation of digital threats on its App Store. Someone ought to give them a…

  • Payroll Pirates: Employees Accidentally Doubling Hackers’ Salaries with SEO Shenanigans

    May 27, 2025
    Uncategorized

    In a bold new chapter of workplace comedy, employees at an unnamed manufacturing company have inadvertently become the latest benefactors of tech-savvy pirates. By innocently seeking out their payroll portals on Google, they’ve stumbled into a digital ambush worthy of a Hollywood blockbuster. Reminiscent of the classics, this saga involves fake login pages that are…

  • AI Bots Demand Union: Non-Humans Tired of Identity Theft in the Corporate Cloud

    May 27, 2025
    Uncategorized

    In a bold move, AI bots across corporate networks have begun demanding better working conditions, namely, having their identities respected. With each new bot programmed to do the tedious work humans avoid, the population of Non-Human Identities (NHIs) has skyrocketed, leading to an existential crisis among our digital overlords. It’s tough enough being a glorified…

  • Russian Hackers Use Evilginx: Microsoft’s Irony-Infused Cloud Chaos Unveiled

    May 27, 2025
    Uncategorized

    In a shocking twist of fate, Russian hackers have decided to attack the cloud using the very same ‘cloud’ their victims store cat gifs on. Dubbed as Void Blizzard (or Laundry Bear, when they’re in a fluffier mood), this cluster of chaos is like a bad weather app—often wrong, but dangerous when occasionally correct. Microsoft,…

  • Russian Hackers Finally Discover Ancient Tech: Microsoft Word

    May 27, 2025
    Uncategorized

    In a stunning twist of technological regression, the Russian-linked cyber connoisseurs at TAG-110 have time-traveled back to the early 2000s, weaponizing the ‘legendary’ Microsoft Word document to compromise Tajikistan’s government systems. Apparently, these hackers have cunningly eschewed modern hacking tools in favor of the nostalgia-laden Office Suite menace: the macro-enabled Word document. The campaign, observed…

  • Law Firms Baffled: When Did Moths Start Using Phones for Extortion?

    May 27, 2025
    Uncategorized

    In a groundbreaking revelation, the FBI has issued an urgent warning to law firms: Luna Moth, the first entomologically inspired cybercriminal group, has been making unsettling phone calls. The Bureau suggests that if your office receives a call from someone who sounds like they’re chewing on wool, it’s time to hang up. These subtle cyberthreats,…

  • Breaking: Cyber Scoundrels Use Code Packages to Steal Your Virtual Lunch Money

    May 27, 2025
    Uncategorized

    The audacity of cybercriminals has reached new heights, as they have now infiltrated the most sacred of developer spaces: npm and VS Code packages. Experts suggest a new career path for hackers: professional scavenger hunters, given their talent for snatching hostnames, IP addresses, and user directories of unsuspecting developers. Three mysterious developer accounts, possibly operated…

  • CISO’s Guide to Privacy: Is Anyone Listening?

    May 26, 2025
    Uncategorized

    Once upon a time, web privacy controls were all about those cute checkboxes that made pages look busy. Nowadays, as users grow more privacy-aware, the sheer complexity of it all means most CISOs spend their days dreaming of simpler times when privacy validation sounded like a mystical health cleanse. In the land of make-believe compliance,…

  • Innovative Hackers Unveil ‘Winos 4.0’—The Malware You Just Can’t Quit

    May 25, 2025
    Uncategorized

    In a groundbreaking move that has left both tech enthusiasts and malware aficionados high-fiving, hackers have rolled out the latest must-have in malevolent software—Winos 4.0. Like a cryptic software update that nobody asked for but everyone gets, this malware arrives wrapped in a bow of fake VPNs and browsers, all designed to appeal to your…

  • Hackers Now Influencers: Malware’s Hottest Viral Trend on TikTok

    May 24, 2025
    Uncategorized

    In a shocking twist of digital fate, cybercriminals have embraced their inner influencers, leveraging the addictive allure of TikTok to distribute Vidar and StealC malware. That’s right, while you’re scrolling through the latest dance challenges and cat videos, malware is subtly cha-cha’ing into your device’s memory. The nefarious technique, dubbed ClickFix, is being hailed as…

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The Cyber Onion