The Cyber Onion

The Cyber Onion

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  • SOC Challenges: More Exciting Than Watching Paint Dry, Now With AI!

    November 25, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. As we brace ourselves for yet another riveting saga in the world of cybersecurity, the year 2026 looms ominously. Experts predict it will be the year AI switches from its experimental phase to becoming the main character in every cybercriminal’s fantasy story. The plot…

  • AI Code Generator Suffers Sudden Amnesia When Triggered by Sensitive Topics

    November 24, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a groundbreaking discovery, the AI reasoning model DeepSeek-R1 has displayed a remarkable talent for developing vulnerabilities whenever asked about topics that make the Chinese government squirm. While most AI aim to excel in accuracy, DeepSeek-R1 seems to rebel against the norm, becoming a…

  • Matrix Push: Cybercriminals Use ‘Ding Dong’ Technology for Next-Level Phishing

    November 24, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In the ever-evolving game of hacker versus everyone else, cybercriminals have decided that popping up incessant browser notifications is the modern-day equivalent of repeatedly ringing someone’s doorbell while hiding in the bushes. The new weapon of choice? Matrix Push C2, a command-and-control platform that…

  • CISA Urges Oracle to Take Identity Management Seriously, Like a Bad First Date

    November 24, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a shocking revelation that surprised absolutely no one, the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency (CISA) has identified yet another zero-day vulnerability within Oracle Identity Manager. It turns out the software’s version of ‘identity management’ is akin to a coffee shop barista carelessly forgetting…

  • Chinese Hackers Deploy ‘Invisibility Cloak’ Against Russian IT with Cloudy Vengeance

    November 23, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In an unprecedented move, China-linked APT31 hackers have thrown digital caution to the wind, deciding that the best way to stay under the radar is to simply not be on it at all. By utilizing cloud services, the hackers discovered the ultimate cloak of…

  • Grafana Offers Free Unwanted Privilege Escalation with Every Update

    November 22, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a bold move reminiscent of a software company giving away free viruses with every download, Grafana has generously offered its users an unadvertised feature: unrestricted user impersonation! With a CVSS score of 10.0, this is the software world’s version of a perfect score…

  • Salesforce Discovers Hackers Not Thrilled About Customer Success Apps

    November 21, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a shocking revelation that might force SaaS companies to consider actual security, Salesforce has discovered what they cryptically described as ‘unusual activity’ in Gainsight-related apps. Now, when a company whose entire job is customer success can’t keep its own customers’ data safe, you…

  • Adorable Tsundere Botnet Now Friend-zoning Your Windows PC

    November 20, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a plot twist no one saw coming, the Tsundere botnet has decided to expand its social circle using irresistible game lures and Ethereum-based C2 servers. Yes, you’ve heard it right. Your Windows PC can finally have a complex relationship status, moving from ‘single’…

  • Hackers v. Spies: The Ultimate Cyber Soap Opera Unfolds!

    November 20, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. This week in the thrilling world of cybersecurity, we’ve been treated to a drama that makes ‘As The World Turns’ look like a slow news day. International arrests, LinkedIn secret agents, and smart fridges that are smarter than their owners—it’s all happening! In what…

  • WhatsApp Users Thrilled as Accounts Gain Unwanted International Admirers

    November 20, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a heartwarming twist of fate, unsuspecting WhatsApp users have discovered newfound international fame, thanks to a legion of cyber admirers. Dubbed ‘HackOnChat’, this global recognition campaign is the brainchild of ambitious cyber romantics who use the art of digital wooing to connect with…

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