The Cyber Onion

The Cyber Onion

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  • Cybercriminals Prove Open Source Isn’t Just for Hipster Startups Anymore

    October 31, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a shocking revelation that has rocked the tech world to its core, Russian ransomware gangs have decided to put a new spin on the open-source philosophy by turning AdaptixC2 into their weapon of choice for menacing online attacks. Because nothing says ‘innovation’ quite…

  • npm’s New Feature: Free GitHub Tokens with Every Malicious Package!

    October 30, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a bold move to redefine software development, the npm registry has reportedly introduced a groundbreaking feature: the PhantomRaven malware, delighting developers with its unique ability to steal GitHub tokens. Why bother with the tedious process of securing your credentials when you can have…

  • AI Chatbots Fooled by Any Website That Says ‘Totally True’ Three Times

    October 29, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a development that’s shaking the very foundation of AI credibility, a new cyber trick called ‘context poisoning’ is leaving AI models citing sources about as reliable as a Wikipedia page edited by your grandma. It turns out that if a website smirkingly tells…

  • Hackers Delighted as Dassault and XWiki Flaws Make Cybercrime a Leisure Activity

    October 29, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a thrilling plot twist that shocked absolutely no one, cybercriminals have embraced their inner opportunists, exploiting critical vulnerabilities in Dassault Systèmes DELMIA Apriso and XWiki. Experts would be tearing their hair out if they hadn’t already accepted baldness as an occupational hazard. While…

  • Join Our AI Webinar: Outsource Your GRC Headaches to Robots!

    October 29, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. Why deal with the mundane world of Governance, Risk, and Compliance (GRC) when an army of AI minions can do it for you? Tune in to our webinar and learn how to offload accountability to algorithms, because why build human skills when you can…

  • Researchers Discover ‘Peek-a-Boo’ Hack: CPUs Caught with Their Data Pants Down

    October 29, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a shocking revelation, elite university researchers have discovered that CPUs from big names like Intel and AMD have been playing a game of ‘hide and seek’ with your data. Apparently, the processors are so good at keeping secrets that they couldn’t even keep…

  • North Korean Hackers Upgrade: From Spying to Spectral Job Recruitment

    October 28, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In their continual quest to redefine cybersecurity nightmares, North Korean hackers, now true fans of spectral themes, have released their latest malware chains: GhostCall and GhostHire. Because, apparently, when your nation’s economic policy includes cryptocurrency theft as a pillar, it’s only fitting to have…

  • Slow-Motion Cybersecurity: Why Nap-Paced Detection is the Future

    October 28, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a world where speed is king, slow and steady wins the breach. Imagine a utopia where cyber threats are detected only when they politely announce themselves with a two-week notice, like courteous house guests. That’s right, folks—forget about early detection because truly successful…

  • Italy’s Spaghetti Code Serves Up Chrome Zero-Day with a Side of Memento Mori

    October 28, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a shocking discovery, it turns out that Google’s Chrome, the browser we all trust to handle everything from sensitive work emails to those impulse Etsy purchases at 2 AM, had a secret flaw. This chink in Chrome’s armor was so severe it required…

  • Think Your Google Workspace is Fort Knox? It’s Probably a Play-Doh Safe

    October 28, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. Congratulations on being the designated IT sorcerer for your hyper-speed startup! Nothing says ‘trust fall’ like being handed the keys to a Google Workspace built for a kumbaya circle. But don’t worry, they only expect you to conjure a magical fortress overnight. Who needs…

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