The Cyber Onion

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  • Russian Hackers Deploy ‘Finders Keepers’ Malware via World’s Most Annoying CAPTCHAs

    May 8, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In the latest episode of ‘We Swear We’re Totally Not Hacking You,’ Russian hackers have been spotted using ClickFix, a fake CAPTCHA that’s somehow even more irritating than the real thing, to spread their new espionage malware, affectionately dubbed LOSTKEYS. Because why settle for…

  • OttoKit Plugin: Making Hackers’ Dreams Come True, One Bug at a Time

    May 7, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In an inspiring series of events, the OttoKit WordPress plugin has once again been hailed for its open-door policy, welcoming all forms of cyber hooligans with no discrimination. A new exploit charmingly dubbed ‘The Key to Pandora’s Box’, known formally as CVE-2025-27007, has been…

  • Cybercriminals Reunite with Vintage Tech: IoT Flaws Are the New Retro Trend

    May 7, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a nostalgic twist of fate, hackers have taken a shine to outdated technology, turning neglected GeoVision IoT devices into prized recruits for their botnet armies. It’s like trading in your Ferrari for a Model T, except in this case, the Model T also…

  • Fraudsters Hire Bunnies to Optimize Facebook Scams with Rabbit-Like Precision

    May 6, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In an unprecedented move in the evolution of online scams, criminal masterminds have deftly employed the strategic prowess of virtual rabbits, because apparently, having a real job was too mainstream. These connoisseurs of deceit are using Facebook ads, the world’s most reliable source of…

  • Nation-State Hackers Now Offering Guided Tours of Your Network ‘Just for Fun’

    May 6, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. Forget burglary; this week’s cyber villains are settling in like they own the place. Nation-state hackers aren’t just sneaking into your system anymore—they’re setting up camp, taking selfies with your data, and offering virtual tours of your highly confidential files. ‘Look, it’s an open-concept…

  • AirPlay Exploits: Now Stream Your Demise in 4K!

    May 6, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a stunning twist that no one saw coming—except perhaps everyone who has ever connected to public Wi-Fi—Apple devices have apparently decided to turn their AirPlay feature into a game of cybersecurity Russian Roulette. Who knew sharing your screen wirelessly could be this thrilling?…

  • Breaking: Hackers Realize It’s Easier to Wipe Disks Than Fix Bugs

    May 4, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a groundbreaking, innovative move that has surprised absolutely nobody, hackers have realized that if you can’t beat Linux users, just wipe their disks. The latest discovery of malicious Go modules has shown that the saying ‘If you can’t join ’em, destroy their hard…

  • Lone Tech Genius from Yemen Wins ‘Unwanted Attention’ Award for Ransomware Excellence

    May 4, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In an exceptional display of international relations through cybersecurity, a Yemeni hacker has won the prestigious ‘Unwanted Attention’ Award from the U.S. Department of Justice. When asked about his secret to success, the 36-year-old virtuoso said, ‘I just followed the classic advice: Think globally,…

  • Iranian Hackers Confuse Middle East With Free VPN Trial

    May 3, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a stunning display of technological prowess, Iranian hackers have managed to maintain access to Middle East critical infrastructure for two years, all thanks to the magic of expired VPN trials and malware that’s as stubborn as a telemarketer at dinner time. The hackers,…

  • TikTok’s GDPR Fine: The Price of Sending European Dance Moves to China

    May 2, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a jaw-dropping display of international diplomacy, TikTok has been fined €530 million for the egregious crime of showcasing European viral dance moves on the Chinese stage. Yes, that’s right, the beloved video-sharing platform is being punished for daring to export the soulful head-bob…

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