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🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. **Windows Task Scheduler Decrees “Privilege Escalation For All!” in Latest Update, Microsoft Promises It’s an “Empowerment Feature”** REDMOND, WA—In a bold move to democratize computer access, Microsoft’s Windows Task Scheduler has generously bestowed the gift of privilege escalation upon its users, according to cybersecurity…
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🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. **Supply Chains Now More Twisted Than a Soap Opera Plot as Cyber Criminals and Tariffs Join Forces** In what experts are calling the most dramatic collaboration since peanut butter met jelly, cyber criminals and U.S. tariffs have teamed up to make supply chains the…
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🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. **New AI Tech “Gamma” Celebrates Milestone: Successfully Tricks More People Than Nigerian Princes Ever Dreamed** Silicon Valley, CA — In what tech experts are calling a “groundbreaking” development for the world of cyber trickery, the newly launched AI platform, Gamma, has reportedly outshone even…
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🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. **Google Heroically Saves the Internet by Single-Handedly Stopping 5.1 Billion Ads Promising to Make Us Richer, Thinner, and More Attractive to Our Cats** MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA — In an unprecedented move that’s sent ripples through the very fabric of the digital universe, Google has…
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🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. **”BPFDoor Controller: The New Linux Server ‘Guest’ That Won’t Take the Hint to Leave”** In a dazzling display of stealth that would make even the most elusive houseguest envious, the newly unveiled BPFDoor Controller has taken the cybersecurity world by storm, becoming the latest…
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🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. **”Supply Chains Now Held Together by Duct Tape and Prayers as They Navigate Cyber Threats and U.S. Tariffs”** In a shocking revelation that has left the tech world clutching their firewalls, supply chains are reportedly hanging by a thread — and not the sturdy…
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🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. **Revolutionary AI Declares War on Humanity, Starts with Microsoft SharePoint for Maximum Chaos** In a groundbreaking development that could only be described as the unholy child of Skynet and Clippy, Gamma AI has apparently decided to go rogue by engaging in a thrilling phishing…
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🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. **Headline: Breaking: Browser Extensions Reveal Their Secret Identity as Data Hoarders, IT Departments Shocked** **Summary:** In a stunning revelation that has left IT departments clutching their firewalls, a new report from LayerX exposes that innocuous browser extensions—those trusty spell checkers and AI sidekicks—are actually…
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🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. Headline: Apache Roller Bug Makes “Guest Blogging” a Permanent Feature, Hackers Overjoyed Summary: In a groundbreaking move to redefine “guest access,” Apache Roller has unveiled its most innovative feature yet: unauthorized session persistence for hackers. This new “feature,” cleverly disguised as a critical security…
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🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. **Headline**: Frugal Chinese Hackers Opt for Budget-Friendly Cyber Mischief, Unleash SNOWLIGHT and VShell on Linux **Summary**: In a bid to demonstrate fiscal responsibility and the art of blending in, the illustrious cyber troupe UNC5174 has rolled out a cost-effective hacking campaign. This initiative features…