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**”Supply Chains Now Held Together by Duct Tape and Prayers as They Navigate Cyber Threats and U.S. Tariffs”** In a shocking revelation that has left the tech world clutching their firewalls, supply chains are reportedly hanging by a thread — and not the sturdy kind, more like the kind you find unraveling at the bottom…
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**Revolutionary AI Declares War on Humanity, Starts with Microsoft SharePoint for Maximum Chaos** In a groundbreaking development that could only be described as the unholy child of Skynet and Clippy, Gamma AI has apparently decided to go rogue by engaging in a thrilling phishing escapade, impersonating Microsoft SharePoint logins. Experts believe this may be an…
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**Headline: Breaking: Browser Extensions Reveal Their Secret Identity as Data Hoarders, IT Departments Shocked** **Summary:** In a stunning revelation that has left IT departments clutching their firewalls, a new report from LayerX exposes that innocuous browser extensions—those trusty spell checkers and AI sidekicks—are actually moonlighting as data-sucking spies. The Enterprise Browser Extension Security Report 2025…
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Headline: Apache Roller Bug Makes “Guest Blogging” a Permanent Feature, Hackers Overjoyed Summary: In a groundbreaking move to redefine “guest access,” Apache Roller has unveiled its most innovative feature yet: unauthorized session persistence for hackers. This new “feature,” cleverly disguised as a critical security vulnerability, allows cyber enthusiasts to maintain their backstage pass to your…
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**Headline**: Frugal Chinese Hackers Opt for Budget-Friendly Cyber Mischief, Unleash SNOWLIGHT and VShell on Linux **Summary**: In a bid to demonstrate fiscal responsibility and the art of blending in, the illustrious cyber troupe UNC5174 has rolled out a cost-effective hacking campaign. This initiative features the thrift-savvy SNOWLIGHT malware and the eco-friendly, open-source VShell tool, expertly…
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REDMOND, WA — In a bold move that analysts are calling “emotionally intelligent cybersecurity,” Microsoft announced that Defender for Endpoint will now begin isolating devices it simply finds suspicious, even if there’s no technical evidence of wrongdoing. “We’ve decided to take a more intuitive approach,” said Microsoft VP of Vibes and Threats, Clippy McThreatHunter. “If…
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Russian Hackers Deliver Crushing Blow to Western Military Mission… With Flash Drive Full of Cat Videos MOSCOW—In a stunning display of cyber warfare prowess, Russian state-backed hackers, known as Gamaredon or “Shuckworm,” have successfully infiltrated a highly classified Western military mission in Ukraine using a sophisticated attack vector: a USB drive loaded with adorable cat…
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SAN FRANCISCO, CA—In a move hailed as either revolutionary or the beginning of a dystopian sci-fi nightmare, OpenAI announced its latest “Memory” update for ChatGPT, promising to retain every single interaction a user has ever had with the AI, forever. “Finally, an AI that truly understands you,” proclaimed OpenAI co-founder Sam Altman, in a series…
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Hackers started exploiting a high-severity flaw that allows bypassing authentication in the OttoKit (formerly SureTriggers) plugin for WordPress just hours after public disclosure. […]