The Cyber Onion

The Cyber Onion

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  • Russian VPN Service Moonlights as Hacker B&B for Global Cybercrime Vacations

    April 21, 2025
    Uncategorized

    In a shocking revelation that surprised absolutely no one, cybersecurity researchers have uncovered that Proton66, a Russian bulletproof hosting service, has turned into the Airbnb of cybercrime. Hackers worldwide, who were evidently tired of attacking their own Wi-Fi networks, have allegedly been using Proton66 as their all-inclusive resort for mass scanning, credential brute-forcing, and exploitation…

  • npm Packages Moonlight as Secret Agents in Plot Twist No One Saw Coming

    April 20, 2025
    Uncategorized

    In a daring escapade that could rival the finest of spy thrillers, three npm packages have been caught impersonating legitimate Telegram bot libraries. Their mission? To stealthily plant SSH backdoors on unsuspecting Linux systems, proving once again that the only thing more ambitious than a package maintainer is a package itself. While James Bond has…

  • U.S. Toll Users Thrilled by New ‘Pay-Per-Swindle’ Phishing Experience

    April 19, 2025
    Uncategorized

    America’s beloved toll roads have introduced an exclusive, virtual reality fraud experience designed by none other than the avant-garde cyber artiste, Wang Duo Yu. This cutting-edge smishing campaign offers a personalized journey through the realms of deception, brought to you right on your phone. Forget haunted houses this Halloween; the real scare is one click…

  • ASUS Router Flaw: The Latest in Home Office Cyber-Horrors

    April 19, 2025
    Uncategorized

    In an audacious move, ASUS has decided to spice up the mundane world of remote work by throwing in a touch of cybersecurity thrill. Yes, you read it right – your trusty home router is now a compelling plot twist in the thriller of your digital life. Forget Netflix; this vulnerability offers a live-action broadcast…

  • Hackers Discover Revolutionary Strategy: Just Add More Techy Buzzwords

    April 19, 2025
    Uncategorized

    In a groundbreaking advancement that threatens to leave traditional cybersecurity in the dust, cybercriminals have ingeniously combined .JSE, PowerShell, Agent Tesla, and XLoader into a mega-complicated cocktail of confusion. At this point, even the malware seems unsure whether it’s a threat or a trendy new startup aiming for IPO. “We realized that if you simply…

  • State Hackers Discover ‘ClickFix’: The Malware Update Modern Users ‘Deserve’

    April 18, 2025
    Uncategorized

    In a monumental leap forward for cybercrime, state-sponsored hackers from elite hacker destinations such as Iran, North Korea, and Russia have come together in an unholy alliance to introduce the world to ClickFix. This highly acclaimed tactic promises to bring both malware and social engineering to new, unprecedented heights of public annoyance. The phishing campaigns,…

  • AI: Innovating Laziness by Outsourcing Human Intelligence to Machines

    April 17, 2025
    Uncategorized

    Artificial Intelligence (AI) is revolutionizing the modern world by taking on roles previously reserved for overworked and underpaid humans. Yes, the machines are coming, and they’re here to make sure you never have to think for yourself again. So why all the fuss? Sit back, relax, and let your electronic overlords handle everything from decision-making…

  • Mustang Panda Unleashes Cyber Circus in Myanmar with Malware Menagerie

    April 17, 2025
    Uncategorized

    In a dazzling display of digital daredevilry, the world-renowned Mustang Panda cyber troupe has once again taken center stage, this time performing their latest spectacle in Myanmar. The tech-savvy tricksters have introduced a menagerie of malware mischief, featuring the stunning StarProxy, elusive EDR bypass acts, and upgraded TONESHELL tampering. As the virtual tent was set…

  • Erlang/OTP SSH Bug: Perfect for Ambitious Hobby Hackers Looking to Ruin Mondays

    April 17, 2025
    Uncategorized

    In a heartwarming move for aspiring cybercriminals everywhere, the Erlang/Open Telecom Platform has rolled out a premium opportunity for remote code execution—no authentication required! With a top-tier CVSS score of 10, it’s like the Oscar of vulnerabilities, ensuring your rogue packets get top billing in the cyber threat theater. CVE-2025-32433 offers a thrilling chance to…

  • Artificial Intelligence: Your Future Robot Overlord or Just Another Overhyped Toaster?

    April 17, 2025
    Uncategorized

    Artificial Intelligence, or as we affectionately call it, ‘the future overlord of humanity,’ seems to be getting more attention than a cat at a dog show. Well, let’s break it down, shall we? AI is essentially a fancy, digital brain, but unlike our fleshy version, it promises to do things like make decisions and solve…

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The Cyber Onion