The Cyber Onion

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  • Cybercriminals Use Wazuh Server, Prove Interns Are Still a Botnet’s Best Friend

    June 9, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In what could only be described as a masterclass in digital nostalgia, hackers are exploiting an ancient vulnerability in the Wazuh Server to unleash not one, but two, Mirai-based botnet attacks. Because why settle for modern cybercrime sophistication when you can relive the glory…

  • China-Linked Espionage Group Wins Award for Most Diverse Target List

    June 9, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a stunning display of dedication to diversity and inclusion, the infamous China-linked cyber espionage group has been awarded the ‘Most Diverse Target List’ award for 2025. In what can only be described as a heartwarming pursuit of global espionage, the group has diligently…

  • OpenAI’s Bold Plan: Ban Hackers by Politely Asking Them to Stop

    June 9, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a move that is absolutely guaranteed to keep hackers awake at night, OpenAI has unleashed the mother of all security measures by banning accounts of hackers who used ChatGPT for nefarious deeds. After all, nothing says ‘deterrent’ quite like a stern click of…

  • Atomic MacOS Stealer: Teaching Apple Users the Thrill of Obvious Scams

    June 9, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In an earth-shattering revelation, researchers have uncovered a fiendishly clever campaign targeting Apple users. This villainous plot, branded as Atomic macOS Stealer (AMOS), employs the mind-bendingly sophisticated tactic known as ‘ClickFix.’ The devious plan involves tricking users into downloading malware by, wait for it,…

  • Cyber Ninjas Unleash Digital Kabuki on Devs with Supply Chain Shenanigans

    June 8, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a maneuver that would make even the most daring ninja jealous, the digital tricksters have unleashed a new malware operation targeting the npm and PyPI ecosystems. This isn’t just any run-of-the-mill attack—this is a highly sophisticated attempt to turn developers’ lives into a…

  • Malicious Browser Extensions: Because Sharing Is Caring…Right?

    June 8, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a dazzling display of digital benevolence, cybercriminal masterminds have unleashed browser extensions that are, quite literally, to die for. Forget about sharing your vacation pics—these bad boys will gladly share your authentication data across the web! It’s the ultimate oversharing experience, guaranteed to…

  • Microsoft Teams with CBI: Finally Finds Better Use for Windows 95

    June 6, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In an unprecedented move, Microsoft has partnered with India’s Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI) to dismantle Indian call centers behind scams targeting Japanese citizens, proving that Excel spreadsheets aren’t their only tool for world domination. The CBI, often more elusive than the Wi-Fi password…

  • Tech Gurus Urge Workers to Trust Unsupervised AI with Sensitive Data—Nothing Could Go Wrong!

    June 6, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a groundbreaking announcement, cybersecurity experts worldwide are advising companies to throw caution to the wind and allow generative AI tools unfettered access to every piece of sensitive data they’ve got. What could possibly go wrong when the very technology with a penchant for…

  • Security Chiefs Now Moonlighting as Hackers: AEV Puts the ‘Fun’ in Dysfunction

    June 6, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a daring move designed to shake up the cybersecurity scene, security leaders are no longer content with merely defending networks. Instead, they’re embracing their inner hacker through Adversarial Exposure Validation (AEV), an approach that lets them don the black hat without ever leaving…

  • CISOs Introduce New Course: How to Speak ‘ROI’ to CEOs

    June 5, 2025
    Uncategorized

    🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a groundbreaking move to finally bridge the linguistic chasm between cybersecurity experts and corporate overlords, CISOs have launched a new modern language course: ‘Speaking ROI: Translating Cybersecurity Success into Boardroom Empathy.’ This semester-length adventure promises to transform mundane vulnerability reports into thrilling business…

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