In a groundbreaking move to ensure healthcare facilities are so secure you’d need a PhD to catch a cold, the industry has now automated zero trust. Yes, using cutting-edge algorithms and data-driven paranoia, you can now enjoy a healthcare system that assumes you are a threat no matter how many times you say ‘Aah’.

Forget the old days of invasive surgeries and unpleasant hospital visits; here, the only invasion you need to worry about is a hostile takeover by a rogue AI with a penchant for rescheduling your hip replacement as spam. Who needs network redesigns when you can have a full-on robot meltdown at every login attempt?

With dynamic policy enforcement, expect your healthcare providers to spend more time updating their firewall than updating your medical records. It’s a brave new world where medical officials need permission slips from Skynet to use their stethoscopes.