In an ingenious plot twist that left international diplomats frantically searching for the nearest IT intern, the notorious cyber-villain group known as WIRTE has introduced a clandestine espionage malware suite, AshTag, expertly camouflaged as the latest social media app. This dastardly maneuver has caused thousands of government officials across the Middle East to mistake it for the next TikTok fad, unknowingly sharing state secrets with a group that probably thinks ‘firewall’ refers to the backdrop of their Tinder profile pic.

Palo Alto Networks, apparently moonlighting as a Netflix true-crime documentary producer, has been tracking these digital shenanigans under their new series title, Ashen Lepus. The series has captivated audiences not just for its gripping narrative of cyber chicanery, but also for its nostalgic references to a time when government malware sounded more like Bond villains and less like trendy Gen Z hashtags.

While the world panics over the potential leaks of unflattering diplomatic memos and fearsome cat memes, the tech community has marveled at how WIRTE managed to sideload malware that could be mistaken for an invitation to the latest influencer summit. Perhaps the true sophistication of AshTag lies not in its code, but in its ability to make high-ranking officials wonder if it’s time for them to start posting reaction videos instead.