In a ground-shattering revelation, the cyber group Transparent Tribe has apparently upgraded their arsenal by stealing tactics straight from Harry Potter. Their new RAT (Remote Access Trojan) attacks against India are reportedly delivered via what they call ‘The Windows LNK of Requirement.’ This so-called deadly weapon masquerades as a PDF, because, you know, no one ever suspects a PDF.

The Indian government and academia, to absolutely nobody’s surprise, continue their long-standing tradition of being the cybersecurity equivalent of ripe fruit hanging at eye level. Insiders cheekily suggest the only thing more consistent than Transparent Tribe’s incessant attacks is the universe’s relentless expansion.

Speculation is rife that the only people more disappointed than the Indian cybersecurity teams are the hackers themselves. “It’s just too easy,” commented an anonymous source within Transparent Tribe, who spoke to us while sipping chai laced with schadenfreude.