In a move that has critics applauding its audacity, TikTok revealed its latest innovation: the ‘Rent-a-Citizen’ Joint Venture, a groundbreaking partnership with American citizenship at bargain prices. TikTok’s new venture, totally not inspired by decades of creative tax loopholes, allows the Chinese-owned app to keep serving your daily dose of lip-syncs while technically abiding by the letter, if not the spirit, of the law.

The venture, cleverly named TikTok USDS Joint Venture LLC—a name as catchy as a randomly generated Wi-Fi password—promises to sprinkle just enough stars and stripes over their operations to satisfy even the most bureaucratic of audits. According to insiders, the deal includes transferring a minority stake to US-based investors, primarily those who proved they could belt out a passable rendition of ‘Born to Run’ on karaoke night.

‘This isn’t just about compliance,’ said a TikTok spokesperson through a video filter that made them appear as an ancient Greek philosopher. ‘It’s about commitment. Commitment to fun, freedom, and whatever it takes to keep our audience swiping up for more delightful procrastination.’ In a world where cybersecurity concerns can be resolved with a patriotic LLC suffix, TikTok assures users it’s business as usual—so keep dancing like nobody’s watching, even if they definitely are.