Remember the good old days when phishing scams had all the charm of a garage band? Typos, Comic Sans, and a plea from a desperately financial-challenged Nigerian prince were all part of the package. In today’s world, even your grandma’s pet goldfish could spot them from a mile away. But alas, those endearing times are no more.

Enter the new generation of cybercrime, where a 16-year-old with more money than sense and zero coding skills can launch a cyberattack that even James Bond would struggle to combat. All it takes is a $200 allowance and the right AI subscription. Forget working through college; our tech-savvy teen CEO is skipping straight to world domination.

Welcome to the industrial revolution of cybercrime, powered by AI tools so user-friendly they make IKEA assembly instructions look like quantum physics. For just $9.99 a month, you too can access a toolkit that lets you impersonate world leaders, infiltrate government databases, and even order pizza with your enemy’s credit card—all from the comfort of your parents’ basement.