In a groundbreaking discovery that shocked absolutely nobody who has ever owned a router, the Sierra Wireless AirLink ALEOS routers have joined the exclusive club of ‘Flaws So Obvious They Could Be Spotted from Space.’ CISA, the U.S. guardian of all things cyber, added this gem to its catalog, as if it wasn’t already the worst-kept secret in the tech world.

The vulnerability, charmingly tagged CVE-2018-4063, boasts a CVSS score that, had it been a grade in school, would have sent parents into a spiral of existential despair. With unrestricted file upload capabilities, it’s perfect for those who have always dreamed of being hacked while making a sandwich or binge-watching the latest reality TV.

Rumor has it that the routers, so outdated that they make flip phones look cutting-edge, come with a free ‘Get Hacked – Stay Hacked’ loyalty program. For everyone else, it’s either unplug, upgrade, or consider living in a cave until someone invents a router that doesn’t act like a revolving door for cyberattacks.