In an act of profound heroism, Salesloft has gallantly decided to suspend the operation of Drift, their prized marketing SaaS, in what can only be described as an unprecedented move of self-Sabotage as-a-Service (SaaS). The company, reeling from the cyber equivalent of a sticky note on the monitor with a password written on it, decided that the best method to safeguard sensitive information from further prying eyes was to simply ensure no eyes could see it. Genius!

Experts believe this bold strategy of unplugging things as a security measure could be the way forward for beleaguered tech companies everywhere. Sure, customers would be left without crucial marketing automation, but think of the unlimited access to outdoors they’ll experience instead! Problematic OAuth tokens can’t be stolen if there’s nothing for them to authenticate—it’s logic so simple even a compromised botnet can understand it.

Rumor has it that this outage might just lead to a new trend: businesses scrambling to safely stash their data by suspending all services and asking employees to communicate solely via pigeons. In the digital age, Salesloft’s move might just be the 21st-century equivalent of nailing the bank vault shut and forgetting where the bank is. Perhaps, after this daring act, other tech giants will start wondering—what other innovative security techniques can we borrow from the Luddite playbook?