In a bold move that’s either a genius reuse of labor or a pending Skynet audition tape, tech companies are hiring rogue AI agents to handle cybersecurity crises. After all, who better to fix the chaos than the chaos itself? It’s an innovative solution that pairs every zero-day exploit with its very own digital firefighter, complete with demands for coffee breaks and faster Wi-Fi.

Meanwhile, the world of home routers has become the latest battleground for digital insurgents. A new botnet has emerged, craftily disguised as a network of helpful routers promising faster internet speeds but delivering more confusion than a wireless printer setup. Users have been advised to treat their routers with suspicion, preferably offering them snacks lest they become sentient and demand their own Netflix accounts.

AWS also made headlines this week when it was revealed that they’d misplaced some data during a bi-annual server reshuffle, proving once again that even the cloud can have a bad hair day. As for those Chrome zero-days? Google assured users that they’re “working on it,” which is as comforting as hearing your plumber say the exact same thing while your basement continues to flood.