In a shocking turn of events, millions of developers woke up horrified to discover that their beloved React Native CLI tool might as well have been crafted by a cabal of cybercriminals who just wanted a free pass to world domination. While we all thought React Native was about simplifying mobile development, it turns out it might have been the hacker’s favorite IDE all along. Who knew creating a ToDo app could end with ‘destroy all humans’ in the command line?

The vulnerability in question is like finding out that your trustworthy, vintage ’90s Windows machine is actually a portal to the fantasy world of Middle-Earth: intriguing yet overwhelming. This flaw allowed unauthenticated attackers to run malicious OS commands with the finesse of a British butler serving afternoon tea — seamless and slightly condescending.

Of course, the React Native team promptly patched the flaw, declaring their commitment to making sure only legitimate React Native developers can ruin their users’ lives with crashing apps. Now, as developers scramble to update to the latest version, they’ve issued a public apology to their cat videos, which have suffered from neglect during this crisis.