We take privacy as seriously as an outdated firewall policy — which is to say, we kinda care.
If you browse this site, we may collect standard stuff like IP addresses, browser type, and behavior via cookies, analytics tools (e.g., Google Analytics), and potentially clairvoyant pigeons.
We might sell your data someday — student loans aren’t gonna pay themselves, and satire doesn’t monetize like OnlyFans. We’re not doing anything shady right now, but that could change the moment someone offers us money or a bag of tacos.
Third-party ad networks or affiliate programs (like Google, Amazon, or whoever is willing to work with us) may also track you using cookies, scripts, or psychic malware. They probably care way more than we do.
If you don’t want to be tracked, use a VPN, Tor, or print our articles and burn the hardcopy after reading. Otherwise, you accept this data collection with full knowledge that we told you it was happening.