In a groundbreaking revelation, cybersecurity experts have discovered that Chinese hackers are targeting Southeast Asian militaries using malware with names that sound suspiciously like washed-up 90s sitcom characters. Yes, the dreaded ‘AppleChris’ and ‘MemFun’ are here, and they’re about as intimidating as your grandma’s Facebook account.

At the heart of this sophisticated cyber espionage campaign is the brazen confidence that no one would take them seriously just because they decided to go with first draft names. ‘We contemplated calling it ‘DigiDragon’ or ‘ByteKnight,’ but settled on ‘AppleChris’ because, you know, why not ruin hacking reputations as well?’ a non-existent insider allegedly noted.

Palo Alto Networks has dubbed the operation CL-STA-1087, a name intentionally designed to sound like a premium cable news channel that airs government conspiracies all day. Meanwhile, the hackers have shown strategic operational patience, assuming that their victims might take years just trying to stop laughing at the ridiculousness of their code names before doing anything about it.