In an era where the only thing more valuable than gold is a good backlog of cat memes, a new cryptojacking campaign is here to remind you just how badly you needed that illegally downloaded video editing software. This campaign, like a tech-savvy Robin Hood, takes from the computing rich (you) and gives to the cryptocurrency poor (also you, kind of, but mostly them).

Cybersecurity researchers have unveiled this campaign’s sinister details, revealing a multi-stage infection so sophisticated it could practically fill out a tax return. Using pirated software bundles as bait, the attack makes its way onto your machine, where it unleashes the XMRig miner program. This little digital worker bee is hell-bent on sucking the life out of your processor to mine cryptocurrency while leaving you with a system performance that could make a snail look like it’s on Red Bull.

But wait, there’s more! The campaign also employs a BYOVD (Bring Your Own Vulnerable Driver) exploit, proving once again that even malicious software has to BYO these days. To top it off, a time-based logic bomb sits patiently, biding its moments for a glorious explosion of lag and system crashes when you least expect it. Isn’t it comforting to know that someone out there is working hard to ensure your computer remains a laggy, glitch-ridden artifact?