In a daring feat that would make even the most audacious hackers green with envy, a clandestine Chinese APT group has managed to breach Philippine military systems using a malware so elusive it’s practically a ghost story—the EggStreme. Yes, you heard it right, a malware named after your breakfast favorite is now haunting cybersecurity experts.

Apparently, EggStreme doesn’t believe in leaving a trail. Much like that one colleague who never replies to email, it slithers through systems via memory, leaving negligible evidence of its presence. If only we could all achieve that level of commitment to stealth at office parties.

Experts warn that this multi-stage espionage tool could have profound implications for national security. But let’s be honest, the real concern is whether the next time the EggStreme shows up, it’ll bring ketchup for our fried rice. Stay vigilant, folks, and maybe double-check your breakfast.