In a move that has tech executives holding their breaths and IT departments reaching for the Advil, Microsoft has once again transformed the concept of ‘Patch Tuesday’ into a frenzied game of digital Whac-A-Mole. With 56 new security flaws lovingly sprinkled across their products, the company has reminded us all why we keep a stash of emergency chocolate in the server room.

Among the highlights of this latest patch buffet are two zero-day vulnerabilities, which Microsoft affectionately refers to as their ‘extreme sports’ category. These active exploits are kind of like the skydivers of the cyber world—daring, risky, and leaving every sysadmin’s stomach churning at the sight of them. One can only imagine the thrill of never knowing which aspect of your digital life might crash first.

Of course, three of these flaws have been awarded the ‘Critical’ badge, which in Microsoft’s playful language translates to, ‘You really should have patched this yesterday.’ As for the 53 ‘Important’ issues? Well, they’re Microsoft’s equivalent of a polite yet firm elbow nudge, suggesting you might want to take a coffee break before the whole enterprise teeters on the brink of chaos.