In an unprecedented move to dive deep into the hacker underworld, Microsoft and CrowdStrike have partnered to release their latest literary masterpiece: ‘The Cyber Villain Dictionary’. This compelling work is set to decode hacker pseudonyms that sound suspiciously like rejected Marvel villain names.

Cybersecurity professionals worldwide are excited to finally understand the subtle difference between ‘Shadow Panther’ and ‘Midnight Lynx’, both of whom seem to share a passion for Windows XP exploits and cat imagery.

When asked if this new glossary will help actually stop any cyber attacks, Microsoft’s spokesperson chuckled, saying, ‘Well, now you’ll at least know which adorable hacker alias is responsible for your data breach—before they sell your data on the dark web.’

CrowdStrike, on the other hand, promised that the glossary would be updated daily, or at least every time another hacker invents a new edgy name using a random animal and sinister adjective generator.