Ah, the ancient art of IT ticket prioritization. A skill honed by generations of IT professionals who have, for years, bravely tackled the world’s most perplexing dilemma: Should we fix the printer or reset Karen’s password first? This old-school approach to identity management is making a glorious comeback in modern enterprises, where priorities are decided by the sacred triad of volume, loudness, and the ever-feared ‘control check failure.’ Truly, it’s like solving risk with the strategy of a mime, hoping silence will scare hackers away.

But lo, the tech gods have bestowed upon us new challenges! We now navigate environments bursting with non-human entities, bots, and AI trying to convince us it has a soul. Yet, our trusty “who screamed loudest” method ensures we stay on the cutting edge of solving 2012’s problems. It’s not that we’re stuck in the past—it’s just that matching ticket volumes to risk assessments would require a kind of ‘logic’, which is frankly overrated.

Enter risk math—a concept as enchanting as algebra in a fire drill. Because just juggling factors like control posture, hygiene, business context, and intent isn’t complex enough, we need to add the thrill of solving equations that even our finance department would balk at. Thankfully, until someone invents an AI that can translate risk assessments into toddler-level finger-paint instructions, we’ll continue treating identity prioritization like a chaotic game of bingo, where the only real winner is confusion.