In a groundbreaking security initiative, Hewlett-Packard Enterprise has decided to redefine the term ‘open source’ by hard-coding login credentials directly into their Instant On devices. By doing so, they open the digital doors to the world’s most exclusive cybersecurity conference: your local coffee shop’s Wi-Fi.

With a CVSS score of 9.8, this vulnerability is almost as high as the collective blood pressure of HPE’s PR department today. Who knew pressing shift-5 for a percent sign could open up an entire universe of unauthorized admin access?

In a stunning display of public transparency, HPE has rolled out security updates, allowing millions of devices to engage in a digital game of ‘Guess the Password.’ The company has assured users that this was all part of a cunning plan to create the world’s largest online escape room, fostering an environment for fun, learning, and potentially lucrative data breaches.