In a groundbreaking innovation, hackers have generously released new coding packages that promise to erase your company’s codebase faster than you can say ‘Version Control’. Developers worldwide are thrilled by the expectation of watching years of work disappear before their very eyes.

Among the thrilling features of these packages is an advanced cryptocurrency wallet drainage system, guaranteed to leave your digital coffers as empty as promises at a tech keynote. Finally, a way to keep all those pesky assets from clogging up your accounts!

Another brilliant addition is the automatic exfiltration of your Telegram API tokens. Who needs secure communication when you can share your chat logs with strangers? It’s a brave new world where open-source means open for disaster.

According to Checkmarx, these packages are a testament to the unpredictable excitement of open-source ecosystems. Because who doesn’t like a little Russian Roulette in their software development process?