In today’s episode of ‘Why Build Your Own Tools When You Can Steal Someone Else’s?’ cybercriminals have taken a page from the lazy cook’s recipe book by exploiting ConnectWise ScreenConnect in their latest get-rich-quick scheme. Forget learning new programming languages or understanding sophisticated algorithms – just repurpose legitimate software and watch the credentials roll in faster than a crypto market crash.

Apparently, the nefarious masterminds behind this operation decided that their skills were better suited to remote monitoring and management rather than, you know, college. By dropping a spicy little number called AsyncRAT, they turned legitimate admin tools into their own personal bank heists – minus the ski masks and getaway cars.

Experts warn users to guard their precious Bitcoin wallets and 123456 passwords with the vigilance usually reserved for binge-watching the latest season of ‘This Isn’t Your IT Job to Fix’. Meanwhile, the rest of us are left to ponder whether the digital world will ever be safe from rogue geniuses who really just need a hug. Or perhaps a lucrative job offer.