In a stunningly unsurprising revelation, Google has heroically uncovered a band of nefarious villains known as UNC6040, who were hard at work trying to turn Salesforce into their personal vending machine. Their weapon of choice? A cleverly disguised fake Data Loader app, because apparently, complex hacking is too mainstream.

These dastardly cyber ruffians, obviously choosing a name randomly generated by a cat walking on a keyboard, show a unique flair for creativity. After all, why use sophisticated malware when simple deception with a phone call and a few buzzwords will suffice? Surely, they’ve discovered that customer service hold music can be the ultimate hack.

Who knew that the cutting edge of cyber crime would be telemarketing 2.0? Pundits have suggested that their next master plan might just involve Nigerian princes offering Salesforce support packages. As we await the sequel, Salesforce users are advised to start screening calls, lest they fall victim to the digital-age equivalent of your uncle’s AOL phishing scam.