In a stunning display of criminal innovation, European authorities have broken up a cutting-edge crypto fraud ring worth a whopping €600 million, proving once again that if criminals only applied themselves, they could easily outshine the tech startups of Silicon Valley. The suspects, whose operational skills rival only their lack of moral fiber, were arrested across multiple countries, highlighting their commitment to globalism and diversity in crime.

“Operation CryptoCon” involved a coordinated effort by law enforcement officers determined to remind the digital fraudsters that hard cash is still king. Arrests were made in Cyprus, Spain, and Germany, with authorities concluding that these criminals would have been a lot harder to catch if they had invested in better VPNs.

Commentators have noted that while Eurojust’s victory is a triumph for justice, it’s quite disappointing to see such enterprising individuals wasting their talents. However, sources inside the dark web have promised that this setback will only lead to newer, more imaginative ways to part digital enthusiasts from their hard-earned coins. Stay tuned for the sequel: ‘Crypto Heist 2—The Blockchain Strikes Back.’