In a world where hacking a Fortune 500 company is so yesterday, cybercriminals have boldly decided to make your smart fridge the next big thing in cyber warfare. Apparently, there’s something thrillingly malevolent about taking over Aunt Sarah’s gluten-free grocery list. Move over, Bitcoin heists—hello, IoT appliance ransom demands!

Once, attackers would break into high-value targets like banks or government sites. But now, the swaggering hackers have realized that infiltrating unassuming objects like your humble coffee maker, which still runs on an operating system older than its own stale beans, is the real 21st-century power move. Why rob a bank when you can boil a billion kettles instead?

And to think, developers once considered open-source packages merely a collaborative utopia of coding harmony. Little did they know, it’s actually a ‘Hacker’s Open Buffet.’ Here’s a pro tip: the next time you update a software library, make sure it’s not just a fancy way of handing the keys to every device in your smart home to someone named ‘Shadow Slicer’ from the dark web.