In an unprecedented move, China’s law enforcement has decided to make privacy invasion as seamless as possible with their new app, Massistant. It’s like having your own dedicated, albeit slightly intrusive, stalker — now available in handy app form!

Developed by the ever-resourceful SDIC Intelligence Xiamen Information Co., Ltd., this tool is being hailed as the spiritual successor to MFSocket. Because when one unauthorized data extraction app just doesn’t cut it anymore, why not upgrade to a more efficient model?

While other countries struggle with unwieldy privacy laws, China’s authorities boldly streamline operations by discreetly extracting SMS, GPS data, and personal images from the phones of unlucky citizens. It’s almost like unwrapping a surprise gift — only it’s your personal data, and the surprise is exclusively on you.