In a masterstroke of international espionage, China has successfully blended ancient wisdom with modern technology by creating a fake Dalai Lama app aimed at providing ‘enlightenment’—specifically on the private lives of the Tibetan community. Who knew serenity could come with a side of spyware?

Operation GhostChat and Operation PhantomPrayers are not just pointless names for what your parents call ‘those phone things.’ These sophisticated campaigns promise to elevate your consciousness and China’s network of citizen surveillance to new heights. It’s like meditation, but instead of achieving Nirvana, you achieve a personal relationship with the Chinese intelligence agencies.

The cyber-espionage endeavor saw legitimate websites being compromised and users gently nudged into the world of malicious links. Users have reported sudden bursts of serenity followed by the eerie sensation they’re not alone—probably because they’re metaphorically gate-crashing Beijing’s cybersecurity bash.