In a groundbreaking revelation that has left corporate leaders clutching their pearls and clutching annals from the past, it turns out employees are using web browsers for work. And to make matters worse, they’re using them as if the Y2K bug was still our biggest worry!

The new ‘State of Browser Security’ report, humorously subtitled ‘How to Keep Your IT Team Crying on Fridays,’ reveals that more than 70% of modern malware attacks target browsers. Apparently, self-absorbed hackers find less glory in attacking mundane servers and prefer browsers because, well, that’s where the selfies and cat memes live.

Meanwhile, CTOs have been spotted wandering office corridors with signs reading ‘Endpoints Were the Cool Kids,’ and analysts suggest emergency management courses in ‘Browser Control 101: Because Clicking on Flash Ads is So Last Decade.’ Experts agree that once we crack down on browsers, we can finally launch a crackdown on another neglected security risk: stray USB drives from 2006.