🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In an unprecedented move, CISA is urging the Federal Civilian Executive Branch (FCEB) agencies to leap into their trusty time machines and patch Sitecore instances by September 25, 2025. Apparently, CISA believes government agencies have access to more than just the latest Windows updates.…

🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a groundbreaking announcement sure to excite everyone with a keyboard, cybercriminals affiliated with TAG-150 have unveiled CastleRAT, a remote access trojan that now comes in two exciting programming languages: Python and C! It’s the tech equivalent of choosing between chocolate and vanilla, but…

🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a groundbreaking move that has left cybersecurity experts clutching their keyboards, Russian APT28—everyone’s least favorite hacker group—has rolled out their latest innovation: a Microsoft Outlook backdoor called NotDoor. Clearly, naming is not their strong suit. According to S2 Grupo’s LAB52 threat intelligence team,…

🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. Ah, the sweet aroma of cookies — not the kind that crumble in your mouth, but the ones that stick around in your browser, gathering data crumbs faster than you can say ‘GDPR.’ In a move that is essentially the Internet equivalent of swatting…

🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a groundbreaking demonstration of ‘thinking outside the blockchain,’ forward-thinking cybercriminals have taken inspiration from George Clooney’s suave bank heist movies, turning npm packages into the smart contract capers no one asked for. It’s not their fault if crypto developers forgot to code in…

🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a ground-breaking achievement in the field of cybersecurity, Google announced its decision to patch 120 flaws in its Android operating system, bringing the total number of unfixed issues down to a stunningly unimpressive figure. Users around the world can now sleep slightly more…

🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a groundbreaking ceremony of oversight, Wiz Research experts heroically leapt into action this January, unveiling a gaping chasm in DeepSeek’s cybersecurity defenses that could only be described as the digital equivalent of a revolving door. While DeepSeek was busy perfecting chatbot algorithms to…

🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a stunning display of efficiency, cybercriminals have outsourced the burden of thinking to AI, allowing them to exploit Citrix flaws before their coffee even cools. The recently unleashed HexStrike AI is being touted as the secret weapon for those who believe ‘intellectual laziness’…

🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In a daring display of digital heroism, Cloudflare has once again donned its cape to vanquish the forces of teenage angst armed with the mightiest of botnet armies. With an attack the size of 11.5 terabits per second, these basement-dwelling warriors almost managed to…

🚨 Fake Cyber Onion Ad: Hackers hate this one weird trick. In an act of profound heroism, Salesloft has gallantly decided to suspend the operation of Drift, their prized marketing SaaS, in what can only be described as an unprecedented move of self-Sabotage as-a-Service (SaaS). The company, reeling from the cyber equivalent of a sticky…