In a groundbreaking discovery that’s shaking the digital world, elite hackers have declared that minor security vulnerabilities are the new ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ books for the cyber-savvy. Forget the thrill of reading in bed; now you can experience the exhilaration of a data breach from the comfort of your ergonomic chair. Security experts at…

In an exclusive deal that would make even the Grinch blush, ToyMaker is taking playtime to a whole new level. Why settle for a quaint teddy bear when you can gift your friends and enemies alike access to the coveted CACTUS ransomware gangs? It’s the ultimate double extortion extravaganza, and it’s bound to be a…

In a bold move that redefines both employment and existential dread, North Korean hackers have pioneered a revolutionary blend of job scams and malware distribution. They’ve set up crypto consulting firms with names so generic, you’d swear they were generated by a bored AI tasked with creating a parallel universe of LinkedIn endorsements. Their new…

In an incredible twist of fate, SAP NetWeaver has decided to make life easier for cybercriminals by offering them a new delivery service for JSP web shells, sparking uproarious applause from the hacker community. It’s like Amazon Prime, but for exploits! Experts suggest this sudden burst of vulnerability might be due to an unreported remote…

In a groundbreaking move to ensure healthcare facilities are so secure you’d need a PhD to catch a cold, the industry has now automated zero trust. Yes, using cutting-edge algorithms and data-driven paranoia, you can now enjoy a healthcare system that assumes you are a threat no matter how many times you say ‘Aah’. Forget…

In a bold move to stay ahead of the privacy curve, WhatsApp has just rolled out a feature ingeniously dubbed Advanced Chat Privacy. Because obviously, what the world needed most was a way to prevent your aunt from exporting her daily dose of inspirational quotes to the Facebook masses. The new setting is designed to…

In a shocking turn of events, Russian military personnel have found themselves at the forefront of cutting-edge cyber espionage, thanks to their keen interest in outdoor adventures. The culprit? An innocuous-looking hiking app that’s secretly been tracking them closer than their own shadows. Security researchers, fed up with being the only ones not invited to…

In a surprising twist on traditional recruitment methods, the Iranian-aligned cyber group UNC2428 has taken job hunting to an entirely new level of malevolence. Their latest innovation, the MURKYTOUR malware, is delivered via emails dressed as job offers so enticing the recipient might just overlook the inevitable system compromise. This approach to job placement, which…

In a groundbreaking advancement in the field of cyber-naughtiness, Russian hackers have decided that, much like floppy disks and MySpace profiles, passwords are simply too passé. In a daring exploit of Microsoft OAuth, these digital swashbucklers are now tapping into the communications goldmine of Signal and WhatsApp. And let’s be honest, who needs a key…

In a groundbreaking revelation, web browsers have been declared the first line of defense against phishing attacks. Who knew that programs primarily used to browse cat memes and shop for must-have avocado slicers could moonlight as cybersecurity superheroes? Armed with the latest plugins and a knack for crashing at the worst possible moment, these digital…