In a groundbreaking, innovative move that has surprised absolutely nobody, hackers have realized that if you can’t beat Linux users, just wipe their disks. The latest discovery of malicious Go modules has shown that the saying ‘If you can’t join ’em, destroy their hard drive’ is alive and well in the hacker community.

Researchers have uncovered these nefarious modules cleverly disguised under catchy names like ‘prototransform,’ ‘go-mcp,’ and everyone’s personal favorite, ‘tlsproxy.’ These seem like the kind of modules you’d download when you’re two days into trying to set up a simple server and secretly wondering if anyone will judge you for hiding under the table.

Microsoft Office users shrugged and said, ‘What else is new?’ while Linux enthusiasts, who have laughed off the blue screen of death for decades, suddenly found themselves contemplating the existential dread of an unbootable system. The hackers reportedly celebrated their triumph with a toast, presumably using cups they crafted from the tears of frustrated sysadmins.