We’ve always known APT28 to be massive fans of pop culture, but who knew they’d pivot to the most exclusive club on the planet—Signal chat invites? Forget about hacking the Pentagon; these cyber-miscreants have decided their next challenge is to infiltrate your group chat and leave a legacy of malware and bad memes.

BEARDSHELL, one of their newborn cyber-nasties, is rapidly gaining notoriety. Written in C++, it’s like the software equivalent of a Swiss Army knife, perfect for both your casual PowerShell scripting Sundays as well as uploading your Monday morning motivational hacks to the cloud. Who needs productivity apps when you have BEARDSHELL making executive decisions on your behalf?

COVENANT is the Tupperware party of hacking tools—everyone’s invited, and it multiplies faster than a rabbit in the spring. With the cyber theater of war being Ukraine, APT28 could be forgiven for confusing their malware drop with an avant-garde art installation depicting the futility of communication in the modern world.