**Apple Heroically Saves iPhone Users From Becoming Next Bond Villain with Latest Patch**

CUPERTINO, CA — In a daring act of technological heroism, Apple has swooped in with a software update to save its legions of iPhone devotees from an insidious plot that would make even the craftiest Bond villains break a sweat. The tech giant has patched two highly cunning iOS flaws that were being actively exploited, presumably by those who enjoy their espionage shaken, not stirred.

Sources close to the situation, who spoke on condition of anonymity to avoid being targeted by the cyber equivalent of Oddjob, say the flaws allowed nefarious actors to infiltrate iPhones with all the subtlety of a henchman sneaking into a global summit. The flaws, disguised as harmless bugs, were actually sophisticated espionage tools used in targeted attacks to access private data. What’s next? A laser watch? A briefcase with a hidden jetpack?

Apple users around the world are breathing a collective sigh of relief, knowing that their devices will not turn into the latest gadgets for villains in need of a sidekick. “I always knew my iPhone was special,” said one relieved user, “but I didn’t think it was part of an international spy ring.”

As iPhone users download the patch faster than you can say “Q-Branch,” Apple reminds everyone to stay vigilant, because in the world of tech, you never know when your smartphone might be recruited for a starring role in the next big spy thriller. Stay safe, update your devices, and remember: the only license your phone should have is the one to play Candy Crush.