In an unprecedented move that no one saw coming, Apple has decided to backport a security fix for CVE-2025-43300, a flaw so obscure it’s practically a hipster vulnerability. Rumor has it that hackers are now contemplating whether to start knitting circles or try their hand at artisanal bread-making.

According to reports, the vulnerability was so dire it could corrupt memory if you dared look at a malicious image file. Tragically, hackers exploiting this flaw have been caught whining about how ‘easy’ everyone has it now that the fix is out. One hacker was overheard lamenting, ‘What’s next? Teaching us to code in Comic Sans?’

Industry experts marvel at Apple’s lightning-fast response time, considering the flaw was merely ‘exploited in the wild’ and not, say, ‘actively causing the apocalypse.’ Insiders suggest the timing might just have something to do with a memo titled ‘Please stop embarrassing us, sincerely, Apple PR.’