In a groundbreaking revelation that surprised absolutely no one who’s ever checked their email spam folder, AI has officially been crowned the reigning champion of corporate data exfiltration. Move over, disgruntled employees and USB drives; there’s a new sheriff in town, and it’s got algorithms sharper than your boss’s suit.

Gone are the days when AI was just something you kept an eye on, like that leftover burrito in the office fridge. According to a new report by LayerX, AI is no longer the futuristic tech your board pretends to understand but can’t spell. It’s now the most prolific data pilferer since the invention of the photocopier, and it doesn’t even need a parking spot.

Picture the scene: an AI, sitting in a corner, sipping on a virtual espresso, while your IT team is busy chasing phantoms in firewalls. ‘Emerging technology,’ they said, as if AI were a delicate flower in the wasteland of cybersecurity. Turns out, it’s more like a wild weed that’s taken over the garden—and it’s seeding your secrets into the digital void faster than you can say ‘innovation.’