In a groundbreaking revelation, cybersecurity researchers have discovered a cunning plot to upgrade small and medium business (SMB) software engineers from ‘innovative’ to ‘infiltrated’. Under the guise of helpful AI tools, malware has been downloaded faster than a cat video in a fiber-optic household.

Experts, clearly impressed by the multi-tasking ability of these cyber villains, have dubbed their operation Oyster, possibly because it’s the malware you never knew you needed until it’s shucking your system. Unlike actual oysters, however, this one doesn’t contain any pearls of wisdom.

The attackers, apparently determined to make trojan horses great again, have gone back to basics by dressing up nasty surprises as downloadable versions of beloved tools like PuTTY and WinSCP. The campaign seems optimized for those who just can’t resist a clipboard full of free software and questionable life choices.

While the malicious campaign spreads faster than gossip in a high school hallway, affected SMBs are advised to inspect their digital strategies. Perhaps investing in a cybersecurity plan is the new ‘going viral’ sensation they’ve been dreaming of.