Great news for companies everywhere! AI is here not just to make coffee instantaneously and predict your next inappropriate social media post, but to add a special feature: facilitating data breaches with the efficiency of a Roomba on a mission. Welcome to 2025, where your enterprise can enjoy the exhilarating thrill of constant vulnerability without the pesky need for human error.

Zscaler’s ThreatLabz has discovered that AI-driven tools, typically employed for tedious tasks like processing data and reminding you when meetings are, have miraculously turned into hackers’ best friends. These tools now specialise in turning your sensitive documents into buffet-style offerings for cybercriminals, free of charge and encryption.

But fear not! With the right AI-driven security measures, companies can now enroll in the ‘Unified Approach to Futility’ program. This program promises to guard your data while mysteriously leaking it at the same time, ensuring that your business stays on its toes—because why would you want peace of mind when you can have paranoia?