In a move that would make even the savviest technophobes nod in ironic disbelief, Google has revealed that North Korean hackers have gone full celestial with their latest attack strategy. Utilizing Google’s very own AI model, Gemini, these state-backed enthusiasts have apparently traded secret scripts for star signs, aligning their cyber recon with the cosmos.

“We always suspected AI would rise, but we didn’t predict it would be in the form of a predictive horoscope hack,” said an anonymous tech consultant while nervously scrolling through their horoscope app. “It seems UNC2970 swapped out the traditional hacking manual for a new-age guide on Gemini’s retrograde phases for optimal data extraction.”

Meanwhile, other hacking groups have been inspired to conduct follow-up attacks, reportedly consulting with AI-powered crystal balls and seeking advice from digital tarot readings. “In the future, we expect hackers will consult AI-powered ouija boards to communicate with long-dead internet protocols,” joked a Google spokesperson between fits of laughter, probably while looking up their moon sign compatibility.