In a bold shift to combat increasingly advanced cyber threats, four critical industries have unveiled a groundbreaking defense strategy that experts are dubbing the ‘Perpetual Reboot Protocol.’ Amidst the cacophony of sophisticated attacks involving encryption, lateral movement, and not-so-friendly strangers living off the land—IT departments have discovered that rebooting any and every system every 15 minutes confounds even the most seasoned cybercriminal.

‘Our strategy takes hackers completely by surprise,’ proclaimed the Chief Information Officer of Very Important Industries, Inc. ‘Just as they manage to infiltrate our systems, we simply reboot and boom! All their hard work gone. It’s like playing a never-ending game of hide and seek where we’re the older sibling who keeps turning off the lights.’

While some critiques have pointed out that this approach might disrupt regular business operations, industry leaders assure us that the exhilarating rush of trying to finish tasks before the next reboot has injected unprecedented levels of productivity and adrenaline into workplaces nationwide. ‘It’s multitasking 2.0,’ said one enthusiastic employee, who was mid-way through recovering a corrupted file when the system restarted. Rumor has it, the workforce is now the most caffeinated and alert it has ever been.