In a shocking twist of cyber fate, ransomware gangs have upped their game by embracing a new piece of malware called Skitnet, which has been making the rounds on shadowy forums like RAMP. Apparently, it’s the hottest trend of the year for those wanting to spice up their post-exploitation efforts without breaking the bank. Nothing says ‘innovative criminal enterprise’ quite like purchasing off-the-shelf software from a website that also sells dubious cryptocurrency courses.

Skitnet not only steals sensitive data with the elegance of a pickpocket at a carnival but also offers remote control over compromised hosts. This is a life-saver (or should we say, life-taker?) for cybercriminals who want to avoid the hassle of actually showing up at the scene of the cyber crime. It’s like Zoom for grifters, minus the awkward small talk and frozen screens.

Swiss cybersecurity company PRODAFT, who have yet to find a name that sounds like a cheese product, confirmed the malware’s popularity, noting its sales began around April 2024. They have since observed multiple ransomware operators using it as if it were a new brand of energy drink. With its rise, we can only assume a post-exploitation reality show is in the works, where hackers compete for who can run Skitnet most creatively.