In a revelation that’s about as surprising as finding out water is wet, the FBI and CISA have issued a dire warning that Russian hackers are using phishing tactics to target Signal and WhatsApp. Really, who would have thought?

The audacious hackers, with nothing but a keyboard and a dream, are targeting individuals with high intelligence value — a demographic recently expanded to include anyone who can solve a basic captcha. ‘We’re seeing a lot of interest in accounts belonging to people with an IQ higher than room temperature,’ said a spokesperson, who wished to remain anonymous for fear of receiving too many LinkedIn invitations.

While the threat actors are allegedly associated with Russian Intelligence Services, experts are still trying to determine if the phishing attempts are being conducted during work hours or if they’re reserving these high-stakes intellectual pursuits for weekend leisure activities.