In a groundbreaking revelation, Google Threat Intelligence Group (GTIG) announced that China, Iran, North Korea, and Russia have decided to stop bickering over whose hackers are better and instead team up to tackle the world’s largest piñata: the defense industrial base (DIB) sector. Forget the Olympics; the real global competition is in strategic cyber athletics!

According to Google’s cyber sleuths, the world’s most notorious state-sponsored hackers have decided that the best way to test their skills is to poke around international defense secrets like it’s a trivia night. Apparently, espionage practices dating back to the Stone Age were getting a little stale, so they’ve chosen to upgrade to the 21st-century digital version of ‘finders, keepers’.

GTIG even hinted that these cyber Titans are using four key themes for targeting, which we can only assume to be ‘Guess Who?’, ‘Hide and Seek’, ‘Pin the Tail on the Donkey’, and the ever-popular ‘Simon Says’. It seems global security is no match for a well-coordinated team of international hackers with an insatiable appetite for classified PowerPoint presentations and top-secret lunch menus.