In an inspiring move toward gamifying cybersecurity, Microsoft has introduced an exciting new challenge to its regular routine of vulnerability patches. Welcome to ‘Whack-a-Zero-Day’, where users can indulge in the adrenaline-pumping excitement of trying to whack 59 gnarly bugs, including six mischievous zero-days, before they cause irreversible damage.

Players are given limited tools: a rubber mallet of ‘Critical’, a feather duster labeled ‘Important’, and a gloriously powerful, yet slightly embarrassing ‘Moderate’ slap on the wrist. With each successful whack, users earn points redeemable for much-needed patience and a subscription to the exclusive ‘Windows Therapy Group’.

In a thrilling twist, 25 bonus rounds come with privilege escalation, giving users the virtual privilege of role-playing a conscientious hacker who wants nothing more than to fix the mess they’ve unknowingly created. All this, while the elusive remote code thrashes around like a greased-up squirrel, determined to escape capture until the next patch Tuesday.