In a shocking twist of events, Germany’s top security agencies, known for their love of acronyms longer than most cybersecurity manuals, have blown the lid off a scandalous phishing operation targeting the country’s elite. Apparently, even state-sponsored hackers have realized that Signal is more than just a place for journalists to pretend they’re tech-savvy.

The Bundesamt für Verfassungsschutz and the Bundesamt für Information Security, known affectionately by absolutely no one as BfV and BSI, have declared that the classy app Signal is now the battleground for high-stakes cyber warfare. The targets? The crème de la crème of Germany’s political, military, and journalistic circles—because who wouldn’t want to read a German politician’s emoticon-laden debates or a general’s rants about schnitzel quality?

Experts now caution these high-ranking individuals to stay alert, suggesting they might want to stop opening links promising free bratwurst or exclusive Realpolitik memes. Meanwhile, the rest of the world is left wondering: if hacktivists are focusing on Signal, what’s next? Snapchat for secret economic policies? At this rate, TikTok will soon double as an espionage training ground.