In an exceptional display of international relations through cybersecurity, a Yemeni hacker has won the prestigious ‘Unwanted Attention’ Award from the U.S. Department of Justice. When asked about his secret to success, the 36-year-old virtuoso said, ‘I just followed the classic advice: Think globally, act irresponsibly.’

The hacker allegedly deployed the Black Kingdom ransomware, targeting over 1,500 systems including beloved institutions like schools and hospitals. He’s been charged with multiple counts, adding a new line to his thrilling resume: ‘International Criminal in Demand.’

As the world watches, the DoJ is thrilled to put him on the map. ‘We’re always excited to recognize raw talent,’ said a spokesperson. ‘His ability to bring international attention to Yemeni innovation deserves at least one public service announcement.’

In true mastermind fashion, he’s brought humor to his craft. The fact that he took his business global while stuck in quarantine is, indeed, a small testament to the limitless possibilities of remote work. Who knew a laptop and questionable ethics could go so far?